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Tangerine Bolen

I am not excited today

Updated: Oct 29, 2022

That sad, sick, horrifying creature is gone. Now may the Trump family be thoroughly investigated, then prosecuted for all of their crimes. Same with anyone who aided them. What a dark and horrifying time in American history.

That crime family, and what they did to our governance and our country, along with Trump’s role in ensuring hundreds of thousands of completely needless deaths due to Covid, will go down in world history as the darkest time to date for this nation.


Healing and unity do NOT happen without truth and accountability. Only then can reconciliation begin.


I am not excited today. I am horrified at how Obama, such a smooth and perfect speaker, is so well ensconced in the halls of power he long desired, that he willfully quashed the only candidate with a pure heart for the people of America.


No, Sanders isn’t perfect, and he’s certainly not “smooth.” He’s not one of the best orators on the planet.


But with all his faults and flaws, he’s pure in his desire to help this broken nation, and its badly hurting people.


And Obama, Wall Street, and the slick Democratic Party machine absolutely quashed REAL dissent from these brutal systems—let me repeat—REAL DISSENT from these brutal systems—while nary batting an eye.



It was so easy for them.


So easy for power to destroy those of us seeking true equality, fairness, and justice on all fronts—all to keep the machine running for themselves.


Always. It’s always for themselves, no matter what people like Obama tell themselves otherwise.


To have a man who spoke like he did, in 2007, then turn around and actively work to quash an approach to governance that is rooted in an actual return of some power and resources to the people—it stings, to this day. It stings.


Biden is but a shadow of Obama. I think he’s neither as good nor as bad as he’s been reputed to be; I think he likely has a decent heart, in a rich, powerful, groomed for the halls of power, white man’s life. He was clearly never told “no,” in that good ol’ boy way he touches women and girls.


He lives in another world. They all do.


In that, this administration is still so far from us. Biden cannot relate to “regular” people, and so he will always serve the halls of power—because that is what he knows.


He will not degrade this presidency as Trump has done. He will not treat the US Government as a personal piggy bank to pay back a conman’s debts. He will not behave as the mob, trampling these broken halls, first with his sick nepotism then with his sick malignancy, spurring on a desperate, sad, and horrifyingly seeded insurrection.


No, he is not a madman, like Trump.


Today is a relief for me and millions of others. It is a breath. A long exhale after an increasing tightening, while watching our fellow Americans die in scores, after a madman told the nation the “Chinese Virus” would infect 15 people and be done.


After he hoarded vaccines, joked about masks, egged on conspiracy theories, and got the best treatment for Covid in the world. Treatment none of us will get, unless we’re billionaires.


Or, members of Congress, who deny us Medicare for All, after doubling their own healthcare benefits, using our money to do so.


I’m not excited today.


I’m deeply relieved. I want the Trump family gone. GONE.


I also want to know what the hell we do about 70 million Americans voting for them, voting for extreme malignant narcissism and a rabid and cruel and barbaric degradation of everything.


Are democrats the answer? They’ve proven again and again they are not to be trusted. No, they long ago sold this party down the River—for power. Sort of like the republicans, though in a softer and less slavering sense.


They are all so damn far from us. And so damn far from anything healthy or real.


None of this is what is needed, for the American people, the planet, or our future.


Dare we progressives hold out hope that the Biden administration will not simply peddle beautiful words while overseeing yet another historic transfer of real wealth upwards? As Obama did?


Dare we hold out hope for more than crumbs?


I cannot speak to that now. I am not prepared for more disappointment.


I need to grieve. And celebrate that creature and his entirely sick family leaving.


I need to grieve even my own family voting for him. Voting for, and supporting, fascism.


I need to grieve how we are rendered asunder America, with countless rabid Trump supporters imagining my death, your death, the death of everything they thinly pretend to believe in.


I will allow today to celebrate the end of this four-year nightmare.


I will toast to his being gone, and say a prayer that higher angels return, yes, even in these crusty old Democrats, too used to great power, and wealth, to know our incredible and ongoing suffering.


I will hope. In my own ways.


And I will continue to stand for an actual renaissance, an actual transformation, of this nation, and our systems, to be life-supporting.


I will stand like a solitary reed in a raging river, against this rising tide of madness, darkness, and loss.


I will stand for us, no matter how lonely or hard.


I will not waver on this greater hope and dream.


I will continue to believe.

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